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This is gonna be so awkward. Writing again after not doing it for almost 1,5 years.. Oh well, just wanna try here. Out from my comfort zone. Again. Yeah, in this past 3 years I made and build my own comfort zone, without me realizing it. Staying at the house, taking care of my son and husband while still try to build up my business and making money out of it.. It keep going like that every single day and now I feel that I'm trapped on my daily basis. Surprise, huh? You think you can't find any comfort zone if doing something that you love? At your house? Oh yes you can.

So, here I am trying to find again my hobby. One of them is telling my story to the world and share my thoughts here in my blog. I use twitter too much and some thought can't be delivered through it. Do you feel the same? Wait for my next posting will ya? :)

Roller Coaster

Selama 3 minggu kemarin, keadaan saya parah berat. Mo ngapa2in ga semangat, ngurus anak ko rasanya cape bgt, ngurus toko yang biasanya selalu cenghar klo kata orang Jerman, ini malah melempem. Apalagi mo 'berbakti' pada suami... Yang ada memble aje... Emosi otomatis ikut kacau. Gampang banget marah, apalagi mengutuk dalam hati. Sering bgt. Sampe2 saya benci sama diri sendiri karena I feel sooo much hatred in me! And I was full of doubt and confident-less. Saya jg selalu mepertanyakan kenapa dulu ga gini, kenapa dulu ga gitu, kenapa skrg mesti begini atau begitu.. I keep blaming people around me. Capek bgt rasanya... Tapi untuk back to normal and being grateful ko susah ya? Padahal saya udah berusaha mengingatkan diri sendiri bahwa 'Hei, kondisi lo tuh ga seburuk itu kali tie..!' And I try and try and try to remember all the blessing that God had given me. But, as you may guess, It never work.

Sampe suatu hari saya 'curhat' sama si hubby. Curhat pake tanda kutip karena curhatnya pake acara marah, nangis, kesel, bete, ga mau kalah semua tumplek blek deh malem itu. Tapi at the end, saya merasa lega. Masalah emang banyak, tapi klo didiskusiin berdua dan dibikin rencana-rencana untuk mencari solusi akhirnya jadi lebih enteng juga. Walopun masalah belum terpecahkan 100 persen tapi minimal saya tenang karena ada rencana-rencana untuk mengatasinya dan semua yang saya khawatirkan udah diceritain ke hubby. Intinya: legaaa!

Besok paginya saya bangun dengan perasaan jauhhh lebih enak. Tapi tampaknya Tuhan masih menguji saya (pdhl udah 3 minggu ya Tuhan saya terombang ambing ga jelas, masih juga dikasih cobaan.. hiks..). Saya berantem ama ibu saya. Masalahnya sih ga usah diceritain lah ya tapi intinya saya kecewa dan sakit hati. Saya yang biasanya diem aja klo ada uneg2 ke ibu saya, kmrn ini udah ga tahan untuk diem aja. Keluarlah semuanya. Nangis lagi lah saya.. Cengeng abisss! :p

Anehnya, sehabis kejadian itu, sehabis nangis semalaman dan sepagian besoknya, saya kaya dapet kekuatan baru. Semangat saya balik lagi. Si hubby yg kmrn2 sempet terombang ambing ga jelas sama kaya saya juga terlihat semangat lagi. Sebaliknya ibu saya masih diem2 aja tapi saya punya perasaan klo dia sebenernya juga ga enak sama saya dan menyadari beberapa hal yang mengubah pandangannya terhadap saya. Saya pun mulai mensyukuri apa yang 2 hari ini terjadi. KLIMAKS ABIS. Kayanya emang mesti kaya gini dulu ya supaya semangat lagi. Supaya bisa enak kerja lagi. Pdhl segitu saya udah ngerjain apa yang saya sukai banget, tapi ternyata masih bisa ga semangat juga ya? Hehe...

Yah intinya, hidup itu emang pasti banyak masalah. Banyak ups and downs-nya. Masalahnya mungkin akan berbeda di tiap2 individu tapi pusingnya tetep sama. Yakin deh! Iya kan? Haha.. Jadi ga usah deh sok2 ngomong atau misuh2 sama orang lain tentang 'betapa banyaknya masalah gw' dan mulai meratapi nasib karena semua orang yang masih hidup PASTI punya masalah kok. Bukan cuma kamu aja :)

Well now, I can live my life happily again. The problems still there but I can see it with a different and more objective perspective. Hopefully it will lead me to a greater tomorrow and a better me too of course. So, berhubung sekarang hari minggu mari kita nikmati wiken ini dengan ceria! Happy Sunday everyone! :D

Rumah Baru

Hwuaa... Lama ga ngeblog ternyata temen2 blogger banyak yg punya 'rumah' baru dan 'interior' baru! Asyiiiik.. Blogwalking lagi aaah! :D

PS: Ngebaca judulnya pasti mikir klo saya punya rumah baru beneran ya? Di-amin-in aja deh! Heheh.. Still far far away kayanya... :)

Cheers,
Tie

Welcome (Me) Back!

Finaly, a new blog! Nyehehe.. Maybe some of your are wondering why I made this blog.. Simply just because I feel my life is change somehow.. The old one doesn't suit me anymore, since now I have a cute lil son and a business to run.. I kinda feel more mature *ehhmm.. ditoyor..* And also I found that I'm getting wiser and wiser each day.. *kembali ditoyor* Haha.. Just kidding.. You can judge it by yourself anyway.. :)

So, what's new? Nothing, actually.. I'm still a mom with a 9,5 months old kiddo. I'm still running my online shop (yang omsetnya semakin meningkat.. haha.. Darn, I can't lie. Im proud of this!) and I'm still a wife also. My life is still upside down. Especially for the financial things. My dream is still there, waiting for me to reach it. Sometimes I cry because I feel that my dream is so so far away, but sometimes I feel so thankful because I have a full team family member who will (and did) support me to reach my dream. Speaking of family, I, my husband and my son still living at my parents house. My grandma also lives here. And my little brother still going to a college at this town too, so more or less our house is full. Sometimes it's so annoying to live in this house but it's kinda nice too since everybody can take care of my baby. Haha..

And.. I forgot one thing. The new thing from me is now I tweet and I use Blackberry! Haha.. It's like licking my own spit (menjilat ludah sendiri maksudnya..haha..) Why? Because I keep saying to everybody who asked that I don't like twitter, I like plurk better (pdhl mah ga ngerti gimana makenya. haha..) and I proudly said that I'm not using Blackberry (ceritanya bangga krn ga ngkutin tren pdhl ga ada duit aja buat beli :p). But, destiny is destiny.. One day, my husband installed some application for twitting at Mozilla called Yoono. I try it, looking at few tweet from others and suddenly I understand how to use it. I begin to find it useful so now Im officialy a twitter! Haha.. At few first tweet, I feel so weird and stiff. It's like waking up from a very long pause of write. Suddenly I have to write again IN ONLY 140 characters. I have no idea what to write since I don't wanna look stupid and shallow infront of my (only a few) followers. Haha.. So I think hard and I put words carefuly. And now, my tweet flow like a river. Feel free lho to follow me! *elah ni anak malah promosi*. Haha.. And since now I have a Blackberry that actually intended for supporting my business, I tweet more. Hidup twitter!!

Well, I'm sorry for my gado-gado post. I can't write without laughing myself of so I can't stand to not writing without slipping some comment about myself. And it really kick me when I write it in Bahasa. I also don't know why I write this on English. I think it's the mood. You know, I'm all a moody person. Sometimes I go with English, sometimes Bahasa, sometimes a lil bit poetic, sometimes a lil bit 'elo-gw'. It's all in the mood, peeps!

And last but not least, please do enjoy some pics here... Adios ppl! Glad to see you again! :D

my grown up lil man..